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VISIT choosingrelationships
Individual Counselling
Couple Counselling
Relationship Counselling
Working with individuals and couples, utilising counselling, psychology and psychotherapy to help make your relationships rewarding and fulfilling and achieve your best for yourself.
- Person centered,
- Humanistic,
- Self-awareness, Self-affirming,
- Relatedness to self and the world (others) focused,
- Reflecting on life and seeing needs and challanges as positive and fundemental requirement for living well.
- The pull and push between togetherness and seperateness is a continual and necessary sign of being "in the world" ... "participating" ... bringing this to your awareness results in experiencing living fully.
Counselling in Sydney CBD:
Individuals and
Couples
Personal Counselling
Relationship Counselling
Marriage Counselling
Helping you to...
- improve communication methods;
- providing safe space for careful listening and responding directly to the issue;
- empower you (individuals and couples) to manage your life and relationship;
- help understand and relieve anxiety;
- begin recognising that "borrowed functioning" can inhibit and diminish your sense of self;
- by identifying/managing emotional triggers negative patterns;
- offer ways to help improve intimacy and bonding...
- by understanding and normalising feelings;
- manage and relieve depression;
- understand and manage anger and panic;
- relieve trauma and abuse;
- understand & resolve sexual identity and sexual issues;
- provide information and resorces to aid these steps.
What to expect...
Your counsellor or psychotherapist is trained to identify issues and help you understand and resolve troubles for your benefit. Ideally you will feel confident your therapist is trustworthy (your details kept confidental) and qualified (trained in the area you are enquiring about) and a member of a professional body that oversees your therapist's ongoing professional development, appropriate standards of conduct and performance.Socrates (355BC) said it all: "Know yourself. An unexamined life is not worth living."
INTERVIEW YOUR THERAPIST: ask for information about qualifications and how you will be treated. This is mandatory: when you are doing anything in your life find out what you will get.
Call to find out aboutcounselling. SEND your number to me and I can call you back. It is your responsibility is to find a therapist that suits you. You do have a choice. You are always the most important person in every room and my goal is to provide you with skills and resources to be the expert of your life. You know more about your life and experience than anyone else.
Switch on your brain...
...change your mind, find your way. When you go to see a counsellor the therapeutic process attempts to establish understandings between thought and emotions, ideas and possibilities, allowing new brain connections to help you live more effectively.
Balancing feelings, ideas and actions through individual, personal and relationship counselling that is effective, therapeutic and lasting. Counselling and psychotherapy that is helpful because it is individually tailored to suit you — your interests, your perspectives and your needs.
What works in counselling, and how to make the best of your sessions. See here... choosingchange theory, offered by Philip Johnson, reflects human nature by encouraging free thinking, spontaneity and conscientious decision making.
Philip Johnson...
A lifetime of experience supporting my education and training in counselling and psychotherapy (individual, relationship and marriage) helps me give you the edge that allows you to be the expert in your life. Within a safe, professional environment, you will learn how and when to consider options toward choosing changes in your life. Philip Johnson...
You may seek counselling...
...for all kinds of reasons: lack of trust, sexual or emotional infidelity, staleness or lack of connection with your partner or career or life itself, unresolved arguments, financial or personal frustrations, gambling, alcohol or drug addictiuon or dependencies. These issues affect many people at some time or other in their life.
Depression...
and depressed feelings, especially, can have a dramitic and long term debilitating influence on your life. For many years depression has been over diagnosed and many people have been prescribed the wrong treatment. It is important to have this diagnosis done carefully. Not to say that drug treatment is wrong (in some cases it is the very best treatment) but a better question might be "Is it right for this person?"
How do YOU operate?
A question to ask yourself that is rather like Socrates' comment : "...an unexamined life is not worth living..."
You may already realise what you are doing but not realise that you can change or how to change.
The kind of counselling offered at choosingchange is designed to identify how you operate today, is it working, do you want to change...
Is it effective?
If you know what you are doing the next step is to determine how effective what you do is toward achieving you needs, wants and goals.
See also: Effectiveness in Counselling
You already know this because you are the expert in your life.
- Are your relationships are poor?
- Do you you suffer from depressed feelings?
- Are you tired and dispirited?
- Do you have identifiable and achievable goals?
- Is your life fulfilling?
- Are you swayed by other peoples opinions over your own?
- Are you are pleaser?
- Do you do things you later regret?
- Do you rely on alcohol or drugs to 'feel happy'?
Are you interested in seeing if there are other ways of 'being' in the world...?
Alternatives...
You already know this because you are the expert in your life.
- Are your relationships are poor?
- Do you you suffer from depressed feelings?
- Are you tired and dispirited?
- Do you have identifiable and achievable goals?
- Is your life fulfilling?
- Are you swayed by other peoples opinions over your own?
- Are you are pleaser?
- Do you do things you later regret?
- Do you rely on alcohol or drugs to 'feel happy'?
- Are you interested in seeing if there are other ways of 'being' in the world...?
Doing things differently is the goal behind the choosingchange process. This occurs through understanding how you operate which helps give insight into how you might do things differently.
Examining what you do, how that works (how effective it is) and developing understandings and strategies around doing things differently, better, less energy sapping and specifically designed to get what you want.
Testimonials
"... I have not looked back!
"I put a lot of it down to the way you helped me get a handle on things... I walked in, presented my case and was granted the extra 5% I wanted on top of what they'd offered, and guess what, nobody died!"
Female, 31
- "It was extremely useful ...
The counselling/psychotherapy support offered by Phil really helped me examine issues and change attitudes that have improved my confidence, self-esteem and happiness."
Male 28
- "An Educating Experience...
"Life is challenging but I can make it a positive and rewarding challenge with help from the right people!.... Not only did Phil help me get back on my life path from which I had fallen off but he helped me to obtain this gift of knowledge I now have, and opened me to the human mind in ways I had never explored before. "
Andrea, 29
- "Counselling with Phil was the best thing I've done for myself in a long time...
"My counselling sessions were often challenging for me, but I found Phil easy to talk to, insightful and objective. He seemed to be able to judge my emotional and mental state and adjust his approach to suit me on that day... Now, I feel more satisfied with myself and have more realistic expectations of myself and others."
Jonathan, 29
- "Move Forward...
"A man's pride often hinders him from asking, seeking or obtaining help in difficult and sometimes impossible situations. Confidence and a sense of self can be eroded slowly and painfully without recognition until a physical reaction causes concern. This can have a incredibly negative effect on all facet's of life both professional and personal.
"I urge anyone to obtain a unbiased professional opinion to put things into perspective and find the tools to get back on top. I cannot recommend Choosing Change highly enough, do the smart thing and be honest and open about yourself and I am sure it will help you as much as it helped me."
"Male 25
Some issues to consider
to help you achieve effective changes in your life:
- anger management
- anxiety reduction
- assertiveness training
- boundaries (establishing from the start)
- clear communication education
- compassionate consideration
- compatibility issues (do you and your partner both get what you want...)
- compulsions, obsessive compulsive behaviour
- contentment... what is it?
- depression and feeling depressed
- drug/alcohol dependence/abuse family dynamics (how your family
- influences you even as an adult)
- gay counselling, lesbian counselling
- happiness (attaining)
- internet, pornography addiction/compulsion
- relationships, intimacy & authentic feelings
- relaxation/creative visualisation
- same sex relationship issues
- self-confidence and self-esteem
- separation and divorce
- sexuality and sensuality
- transitions (life, work, relationships)
- trust issues.
Explore how your brain works
Your brain (the human brain) developed
over many billions of years, and goes on developing, will go on developing for many more billions of years.
The Somatic brain (enteric nervous system) came first in the evolutionary process and is located in the gut. It mainly provides us with the ability to digest food. It produces, along with other hormones, serotonin which is crucial to our well being.
The Cerebellum (reptilian) brain operates the instant reactions we have in order to survive.
The Limbic (emotional brain) lies above and around the Cerebellum. This monitors and operates relationships, feelings and your educative process... learning new things. Past events and current events... they are linked and this part of your brain is your center of your brain... what happens here affects other parts of your brain.
The Cortex (right and left hemispheres) is the latest development... offering imagination, curiosity, consciousness, awareness and most importantly the ability to consider the future.
Effectiveness in counselling and therapy
Successful therapy greatly depends on the
relationship between the client/s and the therapist.
Extratherapeutic Factors... influence 40% of change... what happens outside of therapy, social support, fortuitous events.
Client/Therapist Relationship.... 30% influence is how well you get on with your therapist.
Expectations...What the client (and therapist)has a 15% influence on change.
Techniques employed by the therapist and utilised by the client hold a mere 15% influence.
How you and your therapist relate and what YOU do have the most influence on a successful outcome in change. Ask — "Am I ready for that challenge?" ................. .... your answer may indicate your readiness.
Simply put....
choosingchange theory, offered by Philip Johnson, reflects human nature by encouraging
free thinking, spontaneity and conscientious decision making.
Erich Fromm writes in his famous book "The Art of Loving" that what is required to have a good relations is Knowledge and Effort. I would add that these things are necessary to be happy within yourself before even thinking about getting into a relationship.
Counselling Services...
and Relationship Psychotherapist Services,
(Couple Counsellor)
... to help bring psychological awareness that is:
- enlightening and transforming, for
- living better, and
- relating more effectively,
- using psychology of change, and
- the art of possibility, in order
- to enhance existing abilities, and
- to introduce alternative, and
- proactive ways, to
- encourage choosing change.
Counselling Couples and Individuals (Personal counselling) with care and solutions in order to establish, build and maintain enduring relationships and intimate connections with self and others.
Talking to someone just may be the answer to help you understand and/or resolve the issues you are facing. A professional counsellor/psychotherapist is trained to see beneath the surface and help you identify what may be causing you concern.
Past issues and incidents may be explored...
It is sometimes helpful to identify patterns and our REactions (based on past experiences) and learning—
- to respond rather than REact, (a thoughtful response is possibly a more appropriate action than an action not thought through properly)
- forward thinking and
- the art of possibility.
These are, I believe, most helpful when we are facing issues and problems in our lives.
Couple and Marriage Counselling
- Marriage or Couple Counselling to make it better for both of you.
- Relationships Counselling to help you find and keep a partner
- Identifying life values assists you to make choices that reflect your goals.
Pre-marriage Counselling
Pre-marriage Counselling helps you establish and maintain intimacy. Designed to bring an understanding of the kinds of issues newly married or committed couples will face in the early years of their union and offers ways of improving skills to better negotiate those issues and transitions.
Personal Development Counselling...
and the Relationship Psychotherapy and Counselling Services
Counselling may enable you to find ways to respond better (rather than react) when your buttons are pressed and provide more effective ways of relating with —
- spouses
- lovers
- friends
- family
- work colleagues... but
- primarily, yourself... a prerequisite for living well.
Why being philosophical...
can help make you happier...
"If only we'd stop trying to be happy we'd have a pretty good time."
Edith Wharton: (1862-1937)
What did Socrates mean when he said...
"An unexamined life is not worth living!"?
Seeking understanding is the beginning of change
Merely reading this indicates you are examining your life... presumably you have found you are searching for a greater understanding about either your life or your relationships or even the meaning of life.
Not to put too fine a point on it, I believe the very act of seeking understanding about our lives is possibly the meaning of life, as we know it.
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Your choice...
The Ultimate Choice (is yours) ...
Your expectations can sometimes be your greatest hindrance. This is the secret you have been wanting to know all your life. And, although you didn't know it, it has been with you all your life. Maybe you do know it...
Making every day an adventure is the goal...
As a child you may remember how exciting life was. Every day was an adventure and sometimes every hour you discovered a new world. Each experience bringing you a bliss that seemed inevitable and as perfect as you could imagine... until you began to expect things to always go that way... sometime around the age of five or six maybe. Maybe even younger. Perhaps, as you grew older and more mature your expectations were often the source of frustrations.
You can handle this today... using theory and practice to —
- understand my mind holds the messages I send it,
- learn to let go my expectations,
- acknowledge my fears and negative thoughts,
- let those thoughts go,
- focus on what I want, My Ultimate Choice,
- imagine that end result
- trust I have the abilities I need to get what I want,
- learn to live in the here-and-now.
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Changing your life...
- Feeling confident allows you to more successfully negotiate life transitions.
- Assertiveness and self-confidence counselling to aid self-esteem.
- Counselling, specialising clear communication education.
- Learning about boundaries to help you get want you want without losing.
- Couple education helps you achieve and maintain successful relationships.
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EAP — Employee Assistance Programs
Sometimes a personal situation or issue will impinge on the employee's working effectiveness and that in turn can affect the workers around him/her and consequently have a marked negative effect on the business.
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Depression can be helped with CBT
In most people, feelings of sadness, unhappiness, and disappointment are as common as fun, enjoyment, satisfaction and happiness. All of us experience a range and variety of emotions and feelings every day.
If feelings of anxiety and unhappiness show up occasionally most of us cope. But there is a marked difference between that so called "coping experience" and the crippling effects of long term, often undiagnosed, suffering of depression.
CBT certainly, usually tackles the surface or symptoms of depression (and other psychological uncomfortableness)... can it fully heal a person from the root causes of these issues?
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Mindfulness Meditation and HABIT
Mindfulness plays a significant part in a counselling process where you will participate toward discovering different ways of being in your world. Mindfulness has varied meanings and my 
understanding of it is from a Buddhist tradition after the time of Lao Tzu (circa Fifth Century BC).
- Everyone suffers pain at some time in their life.
- Everyone can discover the source of this pain.
- Everyone can discover how to ease the pain.
Everyone can live a life freed from continued pain
While none of us welcome the uncomfortable or hard or difficult things or people in our lives, hardly any of us can say they have not experienced those times. 
What to do with that knowledge is what mindfulness talks about. Your mind can activate ways of acting rather than REacting; responding rather than lashing out unthinkingly... I would also add that the lashing out is uncaring.
With practical Mindfulness you can learn to observe your REactions, changing the way you see these moments in your life — responding appropriately, effectively, more objectively. Once this habit is learned (or old habits of reacting negatively changed) your attitude and outlook can be dramatically different.
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Brokeback Mountain...
and gay and lesbian counselling
A love story, a story full of romance and adventure, meaningful and true about love for all of us, a human story, as Ang Lee reportedly said at the Golden Globe awards... "You can never categorise or stereotype a region or a place... "People fall in love, period... This is a universal story ... I just wanted to make a love story." Read More...
OR... A gay romance, a story about two homosexual men...
To describe the beautiful and excellently made film as just "a love story" is to demean and trivialise the protest and political activism gay people have endured and fought for over the past fifty years. Has nothing changed?
Some things require specialised counselling. Same sex relationships are one of them.
Annie Proulx commented in a question-and-answer session after a screening of Brokeback Mountain (taken from her short story set in 1963, first published in The New Yorker in 1997)
For Relationship Counselling including Same Sex Couples
Gay and Lesbian Counselling will focus on the above as well as particular pressures present in the gay and lesbian community .
Most of our time is spent in relationship with somebody... what smart couples know smartcouples is how to live together effectively. First principle is that you are your first priority. However, of all your relationships, your commitment to your intimate partner is probably one of the most important aspects of your life.
Maya Angelou speaking "And Still I Rise" ... you will be risen.
More information Topics
Send your number for more information. You will get a return call:
Send your number HERE
Philip Johnson
Member of CAPA - 3219
Counsellors &
Psychotherapists
Association NSW, and
MPACFA - 20611 -
Psychotherapists &
Counsellors Federation
of Australia.
1300 667 996
02 9362 3025
0425 281 251
choosingchange
Counselling Sydney CBD
Suite 103, Level 1
147 King Street, Sydney
Located between Pitt
& Castlereagh Streets
Parking at MLC Center
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Felicity Hay
Susan Hamilton
Tony Wright
Tessa Marshall
Acknowledgements
Many thanks to all the people who have helped build this site... you know who you are. Thank you ... Phil.
Philip Johnson operates the choosingchange clinic at 147 King Street, Sydney CBD.
choosingchange , Counselling Sydney CBD, Relationship Psychotherapy Sydney, Smart Couples... serving the Sydney CBD and the Eastern Suburbs and North Sydney — including Surry Hills, Bondi Junction, Darling Point, Woollahra, Edgecliff, Kings Cross, Double Bay, Paddington, Paddington, Potts Point, Darlinghurst, Central, Broadway, Chippendale, Ultimo, Pyrmont, Redfern, North Sydney, Lavender Bay, McMahons Point. For more information Contact.
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